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by - May 11, 2020

premenstural symptoms

It’s 5am and I just had a spicy omelette, my boobs hurt, my lower back feels aged, and it feels like I’m about to throw up every five to ten minutes, all because I have PMS.
It may come as a surprise to you that despite feeling pretty awful, I’ve chosen this time to sit up and write well it’s because a few weeks ago before my last period I learnt something amazing about PMSing that led to the decision to write during this time.

It began with the usual telltale signs that indicated my period was on its way, just as I’m feeling now, the next two days, I felt extremely depressed and cried nonstop for hours with no definable triggers. Whenever these waves of emotion happened I’d remind myself that my hormones were a mess at the moment so whatever I felt was probably as a result of that.

By the fourth day, the pain in my lower back had intensified and I found myself only getting out of bed for showers and food. My diet was also a mess. At some point, I thought maybe I was pregnant despite the odds being at zero.  It reached a point where I felt so overwhelmed and powerless by what was going on but still thought about giving it another day because in my head, after all, it was just a period thing.

period pains

The next after, waking up and taking one look at myself, I knew okay this might just be more than a period.  I call my uncle who is also my gynaecologist, and after discussing my physical symptoms, he changes redirects the conversations on how life had been for me the past month.

I told him about how mentally challenging it had been working to publish my book independently, while also dealing with a relationship where I was constantly unsure of my partner because of our dwindling communication, and every time I seemed to want to hold things back, he would egg me on in our language.  

An hour later and I could feel another batch of tears form in my eyes as I waited for my uncle to give my diagnosis, the intensity of your back pain there’s a probability you have mild endometriosis,
He advised I created a chart he would look over when next he was in the country while prescribing a vitamin.

However, as far as the emotional distress was concerned, he made understand PMS cannot make me feel feelings that weren’t already lingering, but it will definitely aggravate them.

When our conversation ended, I took my journal and reading my entries from weeks, I definitely needed moments to self-reflect.  The logs had bits and pieces of parts in my life that made me unhappy, but the fast-moving nature of my life made It impossible for me to give them any attention, it wasn’t until the days before my period and boy did they hit hard.

During this period, my body forced me to focus on these areas my day to day had me convinced were unimportant.

Following the end of my period, I ended my relationship and made more decisive decisions about my book and other areas within my control.


So these days I think of my PMS as spidey senses, if I feel strongly about an emotion during this time, I self reflect afterwards for more clarity.

Also because of how deeply I get in my emotions, I use this time to write mostly fiction because it’s easier to tap into the feelings I want to express in my writing.

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  1. Loved reading this Chika. I hope you feel much better

  2. PMS is so real!... The depression that comes with is top-notch..it’s like you’re just waiting for the pain to overwhelm you eventually.