Igboafricana 2017. Powered by Blogger.


by - January 14, 2019

stick on paper

Yesterday, I got an email with very disappointing news, it was a rejection letter for a program I had been looking forward to for months.  I just finished my lunch, and as I lay down to watch Illumination’s animated movie sing, I get the email.

It wasn't long before tears began flowing from the corners of my eyes, but to be honest I’m not sure if it was the news or the fact I was listening to the part in sing where the gorilla voiced by Taron Egerton performed Elton John’s “I’m still standing”, so I’m just going to say it was a little bit of both.

Unlike most disappointments I've dealt with in life, yesterdays’ was quite different, because not long after the music stopped, I began to smile. Even I was shocked by my reaction, because growing up, my default reaction of things not going my way was instant tears.  Yes, I’m a bad-ass crier.

Thirty minutes into receiving this news, I began to feel a knot on my chest, the feeling that most people would call “having a heavy heart.”
I concluded my feeling wasn't because of what I missed out on, but the fact that I didn't feel too bad for missing out, I began to ask myself dumb questions like; maybe I didn't want it enough, or maybe I didn't pray hard enough for it, all this while failing to recognize parts of my rejection that came with critique.

Two hours into my wallowing, I decided to read the mail again, and I came across two things I missed out completely.
1.      The fact my rejecter had complemented me severally, and not completely dismissed my work, and
2.      Gave me clear cut critique that can be adequately worked on.

After this realization, against my initial plans, I typed a reply to the mail, ending with; I hope to meet with you one day. After I hit send, something happened, and no they didn't miraculously get back to me with a change of heart, instead I remembered what my uncle who I wouldn't mind calling my mentor told me one hot Saturday afternoon.  
“Chi, always remember your WHY, because when life happen, it’s the only thing that will keep you going.”

Life had just happened.

That very moment, I picked up my phone and began to Google similar opportunities, and as the pages multiplied, I never felt more connected to  
The phrase; “Delay Is not denial” which was ironic because the word ‘denied” was exactly what was used in the email I received earlier, but that’s not important.

Right now as I write this, I’m still a bit hurt but I’m no longer disappointed, thanks to my WHY. Like my uncle predicted, it worked in getting me off my ass and feeling sorry for myself, if anything, I’m more driven than I was hours before opening that ghastly mail.

I read a tweet once about how no one shares their failures or disappointments online. That same week, I read another tweet where a lady congratulated lawyers on her timeline for passing their bar exams, while unapologetically telling people that she failed her exams.  She was certain next year, she was going to was going to retake the exam and pass.
  That inspired me.

So as I resume my 9-5 this week, I’m bracing every motivation, even the ones spurned from my L’s.

Not sure how much this might inspire you, ( disclaimer: it might not.), but I’m certain there’s someone you know who can relate to this, and feel free to drop words of Encouragements in the comments, because I’m certain someone who is reading this does.
Drop your Instagram handles as well, I’d love to share your words with my followers.

You May Also Like